Burnt Toasts

When I blogged about why I cringe while listening to marrying couples read vows they’ve written themselves, I got called “cynical”, “bitter”, and (my personal favorite) “a little black cloud.” (I just love that expression; it’s really the perfect mix of adorable and evil. Kind of like me.) Now I’d like to cement my reputation […]

Mazel Tov. Now Please Shut Up.

You’ve probably seen the proposal video making the rounds this week—a gent in Portland organized about 60 friends and family members into a lip-synched song and dance number to the tune of Bruno Mars’s “I Think I Wanna Marry You” in order to pop the question to his adorable pixie-haircut-sporting lady love. There are the […]

Say Hello to My Little Fruit

I once heard novelist Zadie Smith describe the several psychological stages an author goes through while writing a novel. Based on my own experience, she was right on about all of them–the self-consciousness bordering on self-hatred when things aren’t going well, and that experience when things are where everything you see, read, or hear, seems […]

The Mob and the Blob

It’s been a big week in our house. Not just because we graduated from hypnobirthing, had our infant CPR class and welcomed the first of the three grandmothers flocking like fairy godmothers to Florida to await the birth of the baby Amalía (we’re ready when you are, kid). But also because one of our cable […]

Math is Hard

That’s a misquote of the elusive “Teen Talk Barbie,” which was recalled by Mattel in 1991 after public outcry deemed her shallow drivel (which included “Party dresses are fun! Do you have a crush on anybody?”) antifeminist and damaging to children. What Barbie actually said was not “Math is hard” but “Math class is tough!” […]

May Madness

When I lived in a small Greek village in 2002, I was informed that on May first I should rush out and pick a wild plant called mai–which sounds much like the word for May–so I could “catch the May” and gain control over the month. Apparently, it’s an unruly month, full of wild, powerful, […]

A Tale of Two Graces: What Kate and I Wore to the Royal Wedding

Just a quick follow-up to Wednesday’s blog which offended some strapless dress wearers and speculated as to what the now-royal bride would wear today. Personally, I was wearing a blue maternity robe while I watched The Kiss(es) on the Balcony. The whole scene was sweet and romantic, but I loved the curmudgeons among the wedding […]

Will Kate Middleton Eat My Daughter?

This morning my mother apologized. It’s a rare occurrence, but what was even more remarkable was the topic about which she felt guilty. “I was reading somewhere a woman remembering her mother waking her up to watch Princess Diana get married 30 years ago, and now the writer is going to wake up her own […]

Love Snacks

Shakespeare wrote that music may be the food of love. Assuming he really existed as one person, he was smart and prolific, so I’m sure he knows whereof he speaks. But I’d like to make a case for actual food being what nourishes love, especially in its liminal stages. I’m not talking about aphrodisiacs, foods […]

In Defense of Hallmark on Valentine’s Day.

I’m all for hating on holidays that make single people feel marginalized. Or any event that does for that matter. (Even as I type I can hear the voice of every lector at every wedding I’ve been to where the bride and groom have chosen the reading that starts “Two are better than one.” That […]